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Eidein's avatar

Back in April, at the suggestion of some random guy I met at a happy hour, I tried signing up for seeking.com (the most popular sugar daddy site). My goal was essentially information gathering.

EDIT: To be clear, I was not signing up to this site to find dates. I signed up for this site to message random women on the site and ask them about their experiences on the site, out of morbid curiousity. During my time on the site, I went on dates with two women. Both of whom I was upfront about not being a sugar daddy, and neither of whom I gave any money. Both of them didn't go anywhere

On the site, I messaged a bunch of women and just asked them about their experiences. What I found was so shocking that it prompted me to start attending a church.

In short:

* A shockingly large percentage of zoomer women (possibly as high as 5% in my city) have tried this at least once. To put concrete numbers on it, there's about ~1200 profiles, active in the last year, under the age of 30, in my city. My city has about ~30,000 women in that age bracket.

* The women are sociopathic about it and are motivated by making assloads of money. "Pay my rent for me" is widely considered to be the _minimum_ that you pay a girl.

* There is no expectation of exclusivity and a large majority of the women are open about "non-monogamy" or "no strings attached". This means that she is likely getting her rent paid by several different men at the same time. We're talking like at least 5 grand a month for any women taking the site seriously

* A lot of them seem to think they can get that money for purely platonic relationships. I can't tell if they're serious, or if this is just part of the doublethink that they do so they don't have to think of themselves as prostitutes. However, I point blank asked two women about this and they both aggressively insisted that there's lots of men on the site who are totally fine with paying for a purely platonic relationship

* A lot of them don't care about prostituting themselves, and see it as no-big-deal easy money. Most of them seem legitimately unaware that this behaviour will sabotage their long term serious relationship prospects, and the ones with more self-awareness about it just plan to lie to any future partners.

* Maybe 30-50% of the local escorts listed on tryst, slixa, etc., are also on seeking and using it to drum up prostitution business.

* There is no stigma whatsoever to doing this, to the point that women will actively encourage their friends to try it. They seem to treat it about the same way that girls treated getting a nose piercing, when I was in highschool, like it's a milestone that literally everyone tries at some point in their lives.

* The women all absolutely hate their sugar daddies. They don't respect them, and they mock them behind their backs for "being so pathetic they have to pay for sex". They see nothing morally wrong with blatantly lying to these men. They see nothing morally wrong with pretending they're exclusive. They see nothing wrong with overtly abusing or taking advantage of the men they're seeing. They see nothing wrong with trying to withhold sex and renege on their deals after they get the money. Their attitude is almost like "well if this dude is stupid enough to believe my lies, he deserves lies"

* A bunch of women on these sites appear to be doing it not for the money, and not for the relationships, but purely as social clout for bragging, eg "I'm so hot, there's 50 guys who will pay a thousand bucks just to spend the night with me, right now".

* Ironically, a large majority of the women on these sites seem to put zero effort into it. They'll post one or two shitty pictures they took in their bathrooms, write a one-sentence profile of boilerplate, and act like this entitles them to a six figure income. Basically the same thing you see on Tinder, except Tinder doesn't come with an expectation that you'll give her several hundred dollars cash in an envelope when you show up for the date

* The women on this site for the most part seem to have absolutely no idea what their own SMVs are. There's just about zero correlation between physical attractiveness and the amount of money they expect. You've got pudgy mid 5/10s acting like insufferable hot girls, and mind-blowingly beautiful 10/10s who, at least from their profiles, seem like nice, sweet women.

* A very large number of the women on that site are also active on other dating sites, and they don't draw a meaningful distinction between 'sugar dating' and 'regular dating'. In practice, this means that a lot of these women are approaching tinder/etc with the same attitude. The next time you get ghosted on Tinder, remember that she probably ghosted you for a guy who will pay $500 ppm (pay-per-meet)

The overwhelming impression I got from this experiment is that the current generation of 20-something women have, across the board, fully internalized both a) that their only value to society is as a sex object/prostitute; and b) that this is the only value they'll ever need. These people have been turned into toxic sociopaths incapable of having health, loving, mutually supportive relationships. They have dramatically inflated ideas of their own sexual market value, and absurdly unrealistic standards.

I don't know what massive social failure has caused this state of affairs, but it is an extremely big problem

Niccolo Soldo's avatar

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