Chapter 4 - Loveless Sex Is Not Empowering
FbF Book Club: The Case Against the Sexual Revolution (Perry, 2022)
Previous Entry - Some Desires Are Bad
With half of the book completed, you cannot escape the conclusion that this is indeed a book written by a woman for women. Louise continues to hammer home the point that the biggest winners of the Sexual Revolution are a small subset of highly “sociosexual” men who have a vast array of choices for female sexual partners. The main thesis of the book is that women are losers in this revolution, and she also rightfully concedes that most men are as well.
There is a mountain of research to prove that most men are losers in the current sexual marketplace in the West. Rather than bore you with statistics, the best proof of this was the rise of PUA (Pick-up Artist) Culture some 15-20 years ago. Highly controversial, this culture spurred the formation of massive online communities composed of young, disaffected, unloved, and horny males who could not figure out how to navigate contemporary sexual relations.
As I am part of the Gen X cohort, I was not the targeted audience of this culture and its proponents. However, I monitored it from afar, knowing many men online who participated in it. My initial reaction was that the entire culture was one, big cope for modernity. The idea seemed to be “society has gone too far in its liberalization, so let’s fuck as many women as possible while Rome burns”. This attitude was indeed very prevalent throughout the PUA forums, where oversexing yourself was the main objective. Being slightly older, the inescapable conclusion that I reached was that this culture would burn itself out once men realized that sex is not everything there is in life.
Probing a bit deeper, I began to see that these younger generation of men had a serious problem: little or no idea of how to attract women. Many of these young men were raised without fathers or father figures, warping their perception of adult sexual roles and relations. Still more were too influenced by the media that they absorbed; whether it be mainstream movies and TV that “taught” us that romance always wins out in the end, or on the other side of the scale where pornography teaches us to be as disrespectful as possible, treating women as little more than “meat” for personal pleasure. Much of PUA culture IS a cope, and some of it is very, very bad. Even more of it is purely a scam by shady types preying on the raging hormones of young men.
On the other hand, there was a tiny minority of PUA types who were thoughtful and actually gave good advice to their communities. They all ended up circling around the same important goal: how to become the best man that you could possibly be in order to attract the best woman with whom to build a family. The lesson was that personal success and achievement, combined with a positive attitude and self-respect, would create an energy that women would find irresistible. I not only think, but know, that this is the correct approach.